Kevin Eisenbaum
copywriting
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My Thoughts on Super Bowl Ads

2/20/2013

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Each year, millions of dollars go into the creation of generally 30-second, and sometimes even 15-second Super Bowl TV spots. By doing so, these spots are the most watched year round. People all over the world race to their TV, not just for the game, but for the commercials. Some even are only there for the commercials. That being said, these commercials must be the best of all time, right? Surely they are the award winning, top commercials of the year? But that is just not the case.

What people are not realizing is that there are extremely well made commercials that come out during the year. These are the ones that are raising a storm in the advertising world, and they were created for at least half at the price. I find it sad that these commercials don’t get the same recognition from the nation. Instead, the people put too much faith in these Super Bowl ads, which tend to be a let down each year. They just get way too much hype.

The problem with Super Bowl commercials is that they lack creative thought. Because of the level of exposure, the go-to-ad of choice is a celebrity endorsement. A great majority of Super Bowl ads have some celebrity in it. This is the agency’s brilliant way of creating a “great” ad. But then if you look at the ads that come out during the year, there are very few celebrities. It’s just simply not in the budget. Instead, these agencies must think of CREATIVE ways to attract in audience. Who would of thought creatives would need to come up with something creative? But the one’s who have that strong creative team, are the ones that create REAL advertising gold. And those are the ones that you will find at the top of the advertising food chain.

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Homeless Copywriters

2/17/2013

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I think from now on, when I’m forced to explain to someone exactly what it is that I do, I’m going to say I’m like the homeless. I have to convince random people on the street (the consumer), that I am worth their time and money. I am the product, and I have to make my pitch in roughly five words or less. Say what’s been said before, “homeless, please help”, and they’ll move on. But say something bent, unusual, or surprising, and I just might get a nickel.

Here are some great examples, of some homeless copywriters: http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/best-funny-homeless-signs

Thirty yards ahead, you spot a homeless man. Shades come on, music gets turned up, hat brim gets pulled over the eyes. “If I can’t hear you homeless guy, I can’t give you money.” I’m not mocking these cheap assholes, I am one of these cheap assholes. But here is my advice to my fellow misers: at least read their signs. Eventually you’ll find some true creativity in their writing. Some will make you smile, some will make you laugh. Those are the ones that you should give your loose change to. You’ll find that having no money, and no food, somehow makes you a surprisingly good writer. You have to, to get noticed. 

If any agency is in need of some new talent, they need to look to the streets. The homeless are copywriters. And vice versa, but that’s beside the point. They need to collect their cardboard signs, and start building their portfolio.

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People Analyzing 

2/6/2013

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Today I was presented with the opportunity to partake in a new form of People Watching: People Analyzing. This game involved, not only observing those that walked by me in the street, but also determining their “story”. What follows represents the varied personalities that I had the pleasure of creeping on today:

(Note: All names are just assumptions, but the stories are most likely 100% accurate. As the inventor of this game, I have to be pretty good at it.)

(2nd Note: Though it may seem so from the following game entries, I'm not a negative, judgmental, asshole in real life. It's all part of the game.)

·      Poor Sam was the first to walk down the street that afternoon. With his sunken eyes and downward gaze, it was clear that Sam’s girlfriend had just broken up with him. He can’t help but place the blame on his fraternity; they are a negative influence on him. But is it really the fraternity’s fault that he drank too much and hooked up with his (ex) girlfriend’s roommate?

·      Mary considers herself a bit artsy, but she may be the only one that would consider this. She tries so hard to look the part with her colorful scarf that doesn’t match the rest of her clothes. She should probably consider moving on from her failed childhood dream.

·      Here comes that typical “hard-to-get” girl, Lindsey. You better have some money if you ever plan on winning her over. What a perfect example of a “don’t-talk-to-me” face.

·      Good ol’ Jorge takes pride in the labor involved in his job. He’s a much harder worker than those corporate assholes, and if it was up to him, he’d get paid as much, if not more than those douche bags.

·      Bill is just glad to be his age. As an elder, people don’t make fun of him anymore.

·      Spencer is uncomfortable and unsure about whether or not he has sufficient upper-body strength, despite how often he works out. That’s why he wears a sweatshirt when he rides his bike in 70-degree weather.

·      Carly constantly looks at her phone all day, and not to talk to her friends. She’s just hoping that maybe today is the day that “he” will finally text her. It’s been four months.

·      Brian is very economical. Why waste money on shitty drag food, when you can pack your own lunch. Enjoy that moldy banana Brian.

·      Rachel hates Jen, but she doesn’t know it. As far as anyone is concerned “they’re great friends”, but if she talks to Kent one more time, she’ll burn her with her curling iron.

·      Bradley and Sara are that awkward couple. They think they are cute, but when you are in public, some stuff is just not ok.

·      Conner has been in and out of fast food jobs every month, and even goes long stretches without one. Why? He’s yet to realize that his greasy long hair and unkempt beard is off putting to customers. Does he even wash his hands?

·      Tim wishes he never gave up baseball. He was a great shortstop, but the despite the name, he was just too short to keep playing. His economics degree will have to suffice, but he fucking hates economics.

·      Ah Danny, the proud, overweight guy. He’s not out of shape, he’s just who he is, and if you have a problem with it, you can fuck off. He’d rather die doing what he loves than waste time in the gym. In ancient times, such men were kings.

·      Kyle is just hilarious! Well, he thinks he is. He joined his fraternity for a new audience. He does occasionally get some laughs, but that may be because of his cargo shorts and plaid hat.

·      Hello Brittany!! Suh-rawr-it-ee sistas 4 live!!! Sure it’s a month before Round Up, by wait to wear neon? How else will people notice you in class? What could look hotter on a Wednesday than a tank and Nike shorts?

·      “Siri, play artist Backstreet Boys, shuffled”, we can only assume Christina said. Boy, does she still live in the ‘90s. Tie dye t-shirts, unusually oversized jackets, and of course unnecessary gadget accessories. Keep living “Larger than Life” Christina.

·      You know how much noise your shoes are making, right Molly? Who cares… Everyone can go fuck themselves, right?

·      Jon, how sweet is it that you get to wear flip flops in February? If this weather keeps up, you can probably get an Ultimate game going on Saturday. It’s been a while since you’ve played, and you don’t have the time to waste playing for the school team. But let’s be honest… you’re probably not quite good enough.

·      Chris, it’s amazing that you’ve made it this far in life. Food poisoning from the crap you eat off the street, is nothing compared to that cinder block you took to the head in ’84. It’s a shame what has happened to you. You really had a lot of things going your way, but sadly, you don’t remember.

That’s all for now, but I suspect that this game will make a comeback.

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Go Daddy Haters are Jealous 

2/4/2013

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During the Super Bowl yesterday, Go Daddy surprised viewers with not just their usual sexual spot, but also a full on, raunchy make out sesh involving supermodel Bar Refaeli and some nerd named Walter. This ad was created by the New York agency Deutsch. The response to this spot: a surprising amount of hatred and criticism. Why? Go Daddy is known for their sexy spots, and they did so this year in a way that far outdid their previous commercials. Here’s my argument for this gem:

Go Daddy has chosen their brand image: random sexuality that actually has nothing to do with the product itself. Those who have a problem with this spot, shouldn’t have a problem with the commercial, but rather the chosen brand image. I’m not here, however, to discuss the merit behind Go Daddy’s brand image. It was chosen years ago and they seem pretty determined to stick with it, so c’est la vie. Now in the past, Go Daddy has struggled. They began this image with their “wardrobe malfunction” commercial, poking fun at the Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake fiasco, but since then have failed to produce anything interesting. The spots to follow consisted of poor acting, corny storylines, and (surprisingly) uninteresting sex appeal. That changed this year. No acting necessary. Take a drop-dead gorgeous Israeli, and pay her a crap-load to make out with some oddly shaped, red-faced nerd, who is most likely the producer’s son. What they got, was that jaw-dropping moment, one most advertisers would kill for.

It must be understood, that the spot was not meant to be funny. That is where a lot of that backlash is coming from. You’re not supposed to laugh. The commercial is admittedly, quite disturbing. Instead, you are literally expected to say: “what the f*ck”? And the fact that Go Daddy succeeded with that, their commercial is now memorable. Despite the hatred- people are talking about it. Not only that, for the first time in years, their commercial actually accurately represents what they are selling: a combination of sexiness and intelligence in website design. You’ll never forget that, since the personification of their website is forever burned into your mind.

So put your spatulas away, angry housewives. Take a chill pill lonely, single people. Give the rulers back to the students, Catholic school nuns. You’ve just witnessed the boundaries of commercials being pushed, and you’ll always remember that Go Daddy is responsible. Thank you Deutsch for creating this vision in our heads.

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    A dissection of the mind of a kid at heart being somewhat productive.

    This is a blog. I will write things here. You will read them. You should at least smile. I expect a pity laugh now and again. I may even change your life... if I feel like it.


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